Shattered Glass

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

"Saint Valentine"


A jam packed 4 letter word.

I live in a world where I've known only one type of love - unconditional, non-judgmental, selfless love.

Watching my parents, immigrants whose faith conquered oceans, loving each other with the same passion and laughter 37 years and 2 children later.

Watching my older sister protect me from the ways of the world and the words of the wicked.

Watching my 80-year-old God Parents smile after receiving the smallest token of my affection as they celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary.

That's "MY" version of love.

Realizing that my best friend is the best love I've ever known. 8 years later, to find his love, patience, candor, smile, embrace and dedication would teach me about self-love...

That's "MY" version of love.

With Valentine's Day right around the corner I found it only appropriate to write an entry about what love means to me. Maybe we share the same definition...maybe we don't...but isn't that beautiful?                                 

It took me a long time to understand the difference between the two "L's": L.U.S.T AND L.O.V.E.

What is lust? Is it the preliminary stage before love? If lust is the fire that boils my blood, what then is love? 

My clarity is eclipsed.

My older sister used to tell me, "Lust is a fleeting feeling. Love grows. You water love. If you nurture it, it will nurture you."


That makes sense. Or does it?

Suddenly, I find myself reminiscing. A subconscious energy starts racing through my heart.

How many relationships have nurtured me? I know that I've nurtured pretty much all of the, but why wasn't that "love" reciprocated? Or was it simply lust?

And then a cloud of sadness moves in...

How much of my heart have I selflessly handed away to greedy lustful hands?

Some people believe in soul mates. I say "some people" because I never categorized myself as one of "those" people.

One person. One love. "And they lived happily ever after."

...Food for thought....

If love is indeed a living growing object...well then it would make sense that every object has a pre-destined mate and that those two will in fact live "happily ever after" or something to that affect. Right?

What do YOU believe?

Is LOVE selfish?
Is LUST selfish?

Is LOVE priceless?
Is LUST priceless?

Is LOVE kind?
Is LUST kind?

Does LOVE forgive?
Does LUST forgive?

Does LOVE hurt?
Does LUST hurt?


Will LOVE leave?
Will LUST?

I have my own answers to these questions, as I'm sure you do. Hopefully, they aren't based on society's presentation, but rather on your own experiences. Your own heartaches.  

My heartaches have introduced me to the "perfectly imperfect" love of my life(perhaps that's how I know he's my soul mate).

This year, I'm choosing to celebrate Valentine's Day at home, quietly. Just me and him, him and me.

For me, this day isn't about the bells and whistles, not even the chocolate and roses (though like every woman I do love them). It's about making sure that the one you're with appreciates you, cares for you, LOVES you.

I've come to realize that to me LOVE is real and LUST is simply it's shadow yearning for more sunlight. And though at times the sun blinds our judgment, once you pull down that shade of courage, you'll see exactly what you're dealing with.

 With Love. 
Happy "Love" Day!




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