Tuesday, February 5, 2013
"From 26 to 36"
First off, I want to apologize for the "spam" beneath my header. I guess it speaks to the theme of this entry "nothing, ABSOLUTELY nothing, is perfect." Somethings are out of our control and that folks, that right there is the beauty of life! I found an immense peace of mind and piece of wisdom in accepting that. After I got over my initial "power trip" that is.
It's been a while...I've been transforming...shedding the ca-coon of 2012 and flying into 2013.
This blog has been mostly dedicated to fashion, to some degree or another, but this year has opened my heart and mind. Beyond just the external layers of our complex being.
I'm beginning to realize (based on my own personal experiences, obstacles and challenges) that this world needs more positivity.
So, I have taken the initiative to change the tone of my entries and use my words as a vector to reach out - to be a voice, to bridge whatever gap needs bridging, to restore hope and give people out there swimming in pools of pessimism a renewed sense of self and inner-projection.
So much has happened in 2012 - the everlasting year, or so I like to call it.
Marriages, births, deaths...sickness...change...sadness...
To some degree I just wish that I had the chance to say - "Thank You" or "I Wish I Knew" or simply "It Will Get Better."
I turned 26 last month and I as many of us do at the dawn of a new year, I started my "bucket list of goals." Naturally, this list consisted of everything I failed to accomplished over the last 25 years.
But waking up this year was different. I realized, on the actually day of my birthday, that for the FIRST time the pressure I've been putting on myself to be this perfect version of ME year after year after... - well that goal was not only self deprecating, but it was down right ridiculous!
I've been inhibiting myself from living the life God intended for me to live. To be the person he intended me to be and fulfill the goals he intended me to fulfill.Because I wanted to be someone else.
Whatever you believe in or whomever you find solace in, or wherever you find a sense of clarity...well that "BEING" is more powerful than you and that being (in my opinion) is the ultimate.
We small humans have the mere ability to see only a piece of the puzzle. A spec of the mural. A shade of the rainbow. And yet, we behave as if we have that ultimate power to change our pre-destined outcomes. Why is that? How dare we. Well, I won't speak for the world, but I will certainly say...how dare ME!
I was at the gym recently and I came across this article that inspired me to write a letter...to myself...my 36 year old self. At first the idea seemed somewhat silly - how am I supposed to know what will transpire in a DECADE? I struggle getting myself from breakfast to lunch, that's if I ever get there.
But then, in the split second of silence between songs, I thought "perhaps this exercise isn't about knowing everything, it's about accepting everything."
At 26, my life has been about rejection, self-rejection.I've challenged my gut, my family, my mentors, my health, my...well...everything. To no avail. Perhaps the purpose of this letter was to restore hope in myself. To reacquaint myself with the power of God, my ultimate. It was to help me fit into the shoes of a DREAMER.
Though I'll never posses the power to see the "big" picture, I can dream about it, surely.
The beautiful thing about life, trenches and all, is that time is never stagnant. You can count on it - you will grow, time will tick, people will change - for better or for worse life progresses. Life matures.
And so, with that in mind, 26 year old Lizzy wrote to 36 year old Elizabeth with confidence pouring out of her fingertips.
I said to myself, "I may not remember every single experience I lived 10 years from now, but I do know that every single experience I've lived made me the woman I KNOW I will be at 36. The mother, journalist, wife, sister, daughter and friend I strived to be."
After sharing my letter with my parents, sister and boyfriend, I folded it and gave it to my father who preciously tucked it in the safe - postage stamp and all. "From Elizabeth", "To Elizabeth."
And That was That.
The best part about writing that letter was knowing nothing lasts forever and appreciating it. I won't be 26 forever. I won't experience these very obstacles forever nor the these very joys.So I have better accept them. You have better accept them.
Before I knew it, 50 minutes on the elliptical flew by. And I was left with this thought....
There are so many chapters of my life ahead of me, ahead of all of us, and I can't wait to re-read this chapter of my life while living in a different chapter.
"Overcoming obstacles is a matter of HEART over HARDSHIP."
Write a letter. Meet yourself 10 years down the road from now, I love that person. That person IS the product of a dream!